Mak

Thinking Bout All the Things We Used to Do I understand the person you ended up being with was far gone from saving, but knowing things ended up how they did, I wouldn’t change it for the world! You and I had a lot of great memories, but they’ve somehow managed to fade into the void, and now, when I look at you, there’s nothing there to feel other than the pain that I caused! I knew my doings back then weren’t the best, but you stuck around thinking it was for the best when it wasn’t! I wish things could have worked out between you and me, but looking back, that would have meant being true to myself, and at the time, I was lost as to what was happening around me! I knew I loved you with all my heart, but something always felt off, no matter how much I tried to express what I was feeling and going through! I cried myself to sleep, wishing it would all just stop! But instead, I wake up with this pain of being the bad guy in the end, and I just couldn’t let it go! I needed you to be there...

It Goes Like This I've come to terms with my life always being on the go, and I just have to accept it for the sake of my own well-being. I keep myself pretty content and out the way of others and just focus on the things that matter and as of recently I went ahead and removed someone who was holding me back from me living my life to the fullest and so far everything been so much clearer to me now that they're gone and the rest of the people that were just like them. It's like a block of weight has been removed from my shoulders, and I can finally be free to move as I please. Being something I wasn't for someone else's approval for the past 6 years really took a toll on me, and I'm finally realizing that my actions were basically because of them, and now that they're gone I can finally see why everyone wants to be around me and constantly asking to hang out. I guess I really am a people person but never really saw that for myself because I had someone breath...

I'm Better Off Not Knowing You 6 years of the back and forth trying to get to know one another, and yet we never even got past the first-name basis. You come my way to leave me confused about what I’m doing with my life, just to watch from a distance and make it seem like I was the problem all along. I did what I could to keep myself from getting upset but you had me so fucked up I just kept my cool and avoided your presence whenever I went out with my friends! I ended up making myself numb to the feelings around me, knowing it wouldn’t end well if I reacted to all the things I felt! I avoided the social interactions until I was at ease from the thought of seeing you! I told myself I could try being your friend just to keep myself from hating you, but hating you is all I wanted to do at the time because it made my life a lot easier! I wanted you to feel as much pain as possible, even if it meant going after the ones closest to you and exposing your long life secrets to them! I need...

I'm Sorry for What I Just Did I'm not sure why I waited so long to remove you from my life, but I'm glad it finally happened. I can finally put all the bullshit and toxic shit behind me now. I understand you might go out of your way and cause damage to my name or whatever, and honestly, I don't care. I'm long gone and removed from your doings, and it doesn't even phase me. I'm better off with this new girl who doesn't make me feel like I need to be someone else just to be happy. I'm fine on my own, but also fine with just having her next to me without feeling like I'm wasting her time. It's not like I wanted to have you hate me or feel some type of way, I just needed you to move on from me and delete every trace/memory and thought you had/have of me. It's not healthy for either of us to keep living in the past, thinking things could ever be the same between us two. I'm on the verge of moving and being long gone from N.C, and well, you...

Kind of Wish I Never Met You I’m trying my best to keep my composure, but something bout you makes me want to cry, but then I ask myself why cry when the damage has already been done and I’ve moved on from it!! You keep finding ways to pull me back into the deep end just to watch me drown over and over and I’m sick of all this fake shit! You claim to be the good guy but you went behind my back and fucked your ex and all the other shit thinking  I wouldn’t find out when your ex sent me all the proof I needed to go off on you and remove you from my life! But yet you still find yourself texting me thinking shit is sweet and nice when in reality your text makes me wanna vomit! I do my best to avoid your doings and from reaching out to you, but when I see your number in my phone, it reminds me of so much pain that I feel bad for ever letting you get close to me! I never meant to be the bad guy in your eyes. Still, the moment you let me drown was where I knew you needed to go because it ...

The Last Goodbye I know all the lies you told yourself were just to make yourself feel better about letting go thinking that if you were to lie to yourself about being the bad guy then it wouldn’t be as hard for me but instead it just made me question your doings even more making me feel like it was all my fault! It was never about picking sides or who was right or wrong! It was just you and I as one, but you somehow only cared to make it a one-sided conversation & feeling. I tried holding on to everything I knew, but somewhere down the line, it started slipping out of my hands, and I just couldn’t keep up with all the pain and tears coming down my face! I eventually had to stop and wipe them off, dropping the things that made us happy. I lost sight of what was happening and thought forever was just a word from a movie! I just wish I had a better understanding of why you chose to make me stay, knowing what we had was kind of toxic, but at the same time, worth the fights, even thoug...

I Only Miss You When It Hurts If I’m the worst at everything I do then why do you bother staying and acting as if everything I do is fine and well when you keep going back and forth on shit with me on what’s right and wrong in my life?! You say one thing but then do the opposite, making me feel like you’re just playing a game! It’s fucked up how you go off on me about the shit I do when I’m simply just minding my business but when you mind your own you ask me why I’m not fucking with you?! Like huh?! Girl please go seek a therapist or some type of help because this bipolar ass shit you got going on isn’t going to work around me! It’s making me feel like everything I do is wrong, and it’s hard for me to even breathe around you, and I just can’t take it anymore! You’re all up in my head making me feel some type of way, and I wish I didn’t feel this way! I wish you’d just get out of my head, and I can focus on the things I need to do! But instead I’m stuck hearing bout all my past mistake...

Bitch Nobody Is Mad Not sure why you were going off on me about this and that knowing the shit had nothing to do with me. You needed someone to blame, and for some reason, you chose me, and for that, I dropped you like a fly and never cared to bother with you ever again. But yet here we are back again once again thinking that I give a fuck when in reality I don't even remember who you are or what you were to me. I could've sworn you moved on and forgot all about my existence but apparently not since you're still somehow texting me, knowing damn well I had you blocked.  So I'm not sure how you're contacting me still but please get a grip and move the fuck on. I've got a whole girl I'm messing with and you thinking you can come between me and the shit I have is making me wanna unload a clip in your skull. But for now all I can do is call up karma and have her deal with your bitch ass. So please stay the fuck away from me and my doings because you don't eve...

Started to Move On I guess the time we spent together was nothing more than just a game, and that’s cool with me, but don’t sit here and act like there was more to us when there was only a thought and it had nothing to do with me! You basically put yourself in my life thinking I’d accept only to keep pushing you out, but you forced your way in and just stayed, making me feel uncomfortable and annoyed! I told you to leave several times, but you just kept asking why when I told you my reasons for it all! You weren’t the one, and I needed my time alone. You refused to give me the space I needed to heal from all the damage that you caused, so I kept going off and bashing you for all the shit you put me through and only then you thought I was acting out when in reality that’s how I felt towards you and I needed you to get it through that thick skull of yours!  You made me feel so much hate towards you that loving someone else is never going to be an option because I’m scared of hating s...

I Figured It Out I know we had our differences and somehow you keep reaching out as if I have something left to give to you when I'm all out of feelings and fucks to give towards you. I know how fucked that sounds but it's the truth. I had you for some time only to lose sight of you and kept losing feelings in the process of it all and now all of a sudden you're reaching out and asking for forgiveness after watching me bleed and beg for you to stay?! I was literally hanging on by a thread for a relationship that was already dead and yet you chose to cut it off watching me fall to the depths of hell as I kept asking myself where it all went wrong. I guess the love you were giving was more than I had hoped for. Somehow I managed to get past all the pain and hurt you caused because part of me was scared of losing you at the time. But, now that everything has officially died down. I moved on from you and started focusing on other things and people to the point where I started t...

Back to Square One I never meant to waste your time. I thought things were great til I started realizing certain things and felt like my presence was no longer needed. I cleared every trace of me out of your life and went about my doings. I didn't mean for it to go south so quickly but what can you do? My only intentions with you were basically so I could distract myself from the things that were harming me and I guess once it stopped I saw no need for you which sucks I know but it's just the way things go. Once again, I apologize for wasting your time, but I think this is the last time you'll ever hear from me. You might see me out in traffic doing my thing, but other than that, there are no longer any traces of me. Don't get me wrong, talking with you was fun and all, but it's just not me, no matter how much I tried to be that guy for you it just felt like it was more of a job than an actual connection and I was just tired of forcing myself being something I wasn...