Blog Post 476

What's Your Obsession with Me?

You come around my way acting as if you don't have an interest, only to double back and bump into me, making me ask are you cool? You look me in the eyes, making me feel some type of way, only to get shut down because I'm not the type to just give my time to anyone. So by all means, can you just watch your step and maybe don't be so clumsy. I'd hate for you to stumble into the wrong person at the wrong time. You can go about your day and still not see me, so for you to find me back to back is kind of weird, knowing my doings aren't planned out, so how exactly are you finding your way to me? You claim to be out, just living your life, but does that life consist of stalking me or just simply being obsessed with someone you can't have? You play the victim all too well, to the point where there's no point in even making your existence known. You wanna cry about this and that every chance you get, only to watch me walk away from it all as soon as you start your little game. You wanna be next to me so bad, but haven't even made the effort or time to make your existence known to me. You just show up expecting me to know you when you're just a fan, by the looks of it, and the things you do around me. 

I don't mind the fan behavior, but could you make it less obvious and from a distance? You can look, but you can't touch type of fan, or do you not know the meaning behind that? You want to be around me so often that it makes me wonder if you're hired by someone who hates me or someone who wants reactions from me and post it on the web for views and money? Just let me know what it is you want and need, and we can make it happen if it means you leaving me alone. You're too smart to be doing a middle school stunt. Maybe just make a fan site of me and go about your doings from a distance like a paparazzi instead of acting like a crazy fan when you know that's not my cup of tea. You definitely have the right one, but just at the wrong time. I'm too self-aware and prefer the private scene, so please can you just respect that and do the things you need to do from a distance, or do you not have what it takes to make sure my safety matters?

I know things can get weird and hectic for a pic or a conversation, but like I said, I don't really know you, and with that being said, I don't owe you anything in return, so please just let me breathe and live my life without the thought of my safety being taken away from me. It's weird enough people coming up to me telling me they've listened to my music, and now I gotta worry if they're going to start following my everyday routine. I made the music as an outlet, not to get attention. I never knew this is what it would have come to. I was just doing it for fun, but now it no longer feels fun if this is what it brings. I thought I could just make some tracks and stay a ghost, but it's clear to me that's no longer the case, so now I'm stuck in time trying to erase it all, hoping that one day it'll all go back to normal instead of constant thoughts about my safety being jeopardized.