Blog Post 472

Just Do What's Right for You

Hey, sorry for coming back to you, but I just gotta ask, is this really what you wanted, or was it all just a joke to see if I'd make a move on ya once again? Are the silent nights with him next to you getting to you, or are they finally making you realize that he's everything you'll never need? Is he loving you like he's supposed to be, or are you asking more from him? Is he really the one you understand, and does he do the same with you? I just gotta know if he's ever let you down or if he lifts you up on the days you're not yourself? I just hope he's everything you've always wanted because if not, then I'll step in and lead you to the things you want. I wish there was a way to understand your doings without him getting in the way. Do the tears you cry call out my name, or are they happy with the thought of him being the reason why you're up crying late at night? There's so much I need to ask before I close this chapter and move on from you and everything we've been through. I can't keep asking myself if he's really the guy for you or if you'd be better off with me. 

I wish I could love you like you deserve, but part of me feels like there's no need for those thoughts anymore. I know I'm a fool for feeling all these things at once, but part of me wants to know if it's really how it should be or if there's a way to stop it all before it's too late. I'd hate the thought of knowing I could have stopped it when there was a chance, but didn't act on it because the thought of you hating me would just occur. Ugh, why must this be so complicated? Why'd you choose him over me when I was there for you every step of the way? What made him stand out more than me? I sound so jealous right now, but it's not even that. I just think you're lying to yourself, and I just gotta ask you why. You never lied to me when I was in your life, but ever since he showed up, you've been acting all shady and distant, and I just wanna know if he's making you into something that you're not, or if you've chosen to do all of this because it's the only way to let me go and be free from the thought of us. I don't understand what went wrong when I was by your side all along. 

Why are you treating me as if I'm just a guy you no longer know when we've known each other for over 15 years? It all just seems so fake, and I know that's not your style, so by all means, just tell me what's really going on. You had all week to talk to me and tell the truth, but you chose to hide away and lie to me about your doings, knowing I'd feel like a fool for going along with it. I thought you cared about my well-being, so why won't you let me in and make sure you're safe and well? I gotta know if you're still the same girl I met back then or have your feelings for me changed to where all you want to do is hate me because your current man thinks of me as a threat and if that's the case then that's an issue on his part and he can come and talk to me directly instead of making you hate me for his childish ways. I gotta understand why you're sticking by his side when it was supposed to be just us two all along. I can't tell if this is an April fools kind of joke or just a simulation of some sort because the girl I met back then would never let a man change the way she thinks and loves. So tell me what's the reasoning behind all the sudden change, because it's clear to me this isn't the friendship we agreed upon.