Mak

I Don't Need the Closure! I never really cared about the whole idea of you and me, even though in the moment, that's all I thought I needed. But in reality, it was just a feeling that I was chasing, and you somehow made it a reality for me. You let me in just to watch me leave. You had the best of me just to turn me into something that I'm not. You wanted me all to yourself, but only when it benefited you. I was stuck in time trying to make things right, knowing the only right thing to do was to leave you be and find my way back home, knowing the ride back was going to be me crying all the pain away that you caused. You seemed to need me more than I needed you, but somewhere down the line, that all changed, and I can't help but bash myself thinking it's all my fault. But I could be wrong about it all. Maybe somewhere down the line of you and me, something did go wrong, and I was too blind to realize what had happened. I was so focused on the beauty that you held tha...

Maybe In Another Life Look, I get it, you probably hate me, but thinking I hate you is crazy. I can't really hate someone I once loved. I can only say goodbye and wish you the best as I do my own thing from a distance, hoping you find the things that make you happy in life. I could tell you that I tried to keep my head held high, but then I'd be lying. I had mixed feelings about the whole walking away and somehow making sure it wasn't a mistake on my part. But I just need to focus on some other things rather than thinking you and I are something more when deep down inside you hate me even though you proably never said that to me but your actions were louder than your words so it's kind of just a safe bet to know that you feel that way and I can't really change your mind about how you feel towards me. I can only accept it and forget about ever reaching out to you. I can't be bothered talking to someone who secretly hates my existence, even though you never said i...

Demons No Longer Look the Same You can go ahead and stop the act. We both know what you really came here for, so go ahead and take it while you can. I'm done trying to hide from you. You got your wish, and with that being said, you can have the other me as well. I'll never tell my side of the story ever again, and you can go about your life as if you never did me wrong, and never got to see me at my lowest. You can go and tell your friends how I did the most just to play the victim, or you can spread all the lies about me in any shape or form you desire. I don't care!! You have what it takes now, so go and do as you please.  I know you think this is just a game of mine, but it's really not. I'm done being your little puppet, so by all means, take all that anger and guilt you have and throw it all at me. I'll take it all at once, even if it kills me in the end. I just want you to be happy and free, and I know if I stay any longer, you'll always feel like a pr...

Not Trying to Rewind the Past, But God Damn, that's All I Know!! I never knew that seeing you would make me spiral out of control. I thought I could handle the thought of you, and just letting it be for what it was and leaving it at that, but I haven't stopped thinking about you since I saw you. I know I should just focus on other things, but god damn it's so hard when all the thoughts are about you and how happy you made me til you decided to leave me. I was down for whatever, but never thought you leaving me would be one of those things. I held my cool for a while, but for some reason, seeing you again made me lose it all. You and I will never really have the same feelings towards one another, and that's okay. I'm fine with keeping you out of sight, out of mind, but I wish I didn't have to. I thought you and I would work out well, but I guess you wanted to be with someone else somewhere else, and that's fine. But why'd you have to make me love you and ...

Maybe It Was for the Best I'm no longer worried or thinking about how you perceive me as a person or your feelings towards me. All I know is I met you and somehow started having feelings for you, which was bad on my part, and I understand that was wrong of me, and I should have just denied all of them and carried on with my own doings while somehow still keeping you around. But keeping you around would have only made my feelings stronger for you, and I know you didn't want me to show any feelings other than some smiles and the truth. You really made me feel welcomed but restricted with the things I could say and do, and it was kind of confusing for me because I didn't know if me touching/being physical with you was going to make you annoyed with me or not, so I just let you take the lead, knowing I wanted to make it known that I wanted the same as you. I don't know, I guess I was caught up in the moment of mirroring your charm and kindness that I forgot about the rule s...

He's Everything I'll Never Be I know you keep coming back and forth to me about this and that, only to go back home to him and wonder why it can’t work between us like it does between you and him. The truth is, you’re too much of an attention seeker, so you go out every weekend to find the feeling you had with me, knowing those guys will never match up to me, so you fake it so that it can work, only to hit my line crying about how you feel guilty for the shit you did!  You’re forever changing your mind on the thought of us when you know we can never be due to the lies you told, and making me feel like I was something worth holding on to, but you only held on to me just so you wouldn’t feel lonely! You never really saw me for me; you just saw me as someone you could go for when it came to closure! Which is fine, but don’t scream at me how I was never there for you when I was out at 3 am, driving to your place just to comfort you! You wanted someone you could show off, and when y...

It'll Always Be You When the lights go down and my friends are near, all I do is talk about you and how I can't stop myself from saying goodbye to you. It's like a feeling I can't explain because I typically don't feel much when it comes to others, but for some reason, when it comes to you, I feel everything all at once, and I'm not sure how to control it without busting out in tears. I know if I say goodbye to you all, I'm going to do is just fall back into you and figure out why it had to end.  There's always going to be that tension between you and me, knowing that we're more than friends but less than a couple, and it's confusing the fuck out of me sometimes because I can't tell if you need and want me or if I'm just another pawn in your game of chess. It's not like it bothers me or anything that I don't know what the friendship holds between us two, I just get to thinking about all the other people you talk to when I'm no...

Coming to Terms with the Facts It's crazy how it took me almost a year to see right through your bullshit and white lines of lies as you spoke to me with a soft tone. I just wish I had seen it sooner than later, as in now, because this whole time I thought we were good, but turns out you hated me from the jump, and I just wish I had known why. You made shit so simple, yet I was left confused as to what I did wrong to get the silent treatment and a no-call no-show. I guess it's my fault for putting my trust into someone who was only looking for one thing and one thing only when they claimed they wanted to just be friends, ohhhh how fucking silly of me!! Hahaha, Joke's on me!! Anyways fuck all that and all the lies you told trying to play me like I wasn't mirroring your actions right back at you. It's like every time I thought of you, I would shed a tear thinking bout how things could have been different if I had just acted like this or that, and to be honest, I don...

Take Em. They're Yours! Not really trying to go back and forth on this person, so go ahead and take 'em while you still can and get out of my face with all that hootin and hollering. I tried my best to keep my composure and my distance, but for some reason, that shit clearly died out after I said hi to them and realized the feelings were no longer there, and that was the last hug I'll ever have with them, and that was the end of that chapter. I guess the closure was necessary after all, considering I did a lot of backtracking to people who were no good for me, only to realize I still cared about their well-being. But now that I saw them and noticed I had no feelings or anxiety towards them, then they were no longer mine to keep around. So by all means, go ahead and take them off my hands. You claim that they're so perfect, so here's your chance to go find out how perfect they really are. But once your toxic traits come out, they're gonna smack those same ass tox...

If I Cried Out Every Tear I Held Back, Would that Make Me Less of a Man?! Not really sure if I wanna forgive myself for all the hurt and sleepless nights I put myself through trying to escape from the pain I caused myself from simply just existing and trying to keep out of sight from everyone I've ever met. I have this weird ass feeling that there's someone constantly watching my every move, trying to replicate my own well-being, and acting as if they're the real thing when in reality it's just me fighting against my inner demons trying to escape the void of feeling lonely. I keep thinking about going back home and trying to find the feeling of being safe and loved once again, but instead, I'm reminded of all the mistakes and fights I had while being there, just to watch it all burn down as time went on. I walked down the empty streets, thinking of all the memories that haunt me from being who I really am. I wish I could go back to the day I was born and kill myself...

F*** Around with Me, & You're Going to End Up Feeling Lonely! I know you probably don’t understand how I was once interested in you to no longer wanting you around, and the answer is simple! I got bored, and the feelings that you thought I was showing weren’t real. I was just mirroring you so I could feel something that made it easier to be with you and not have you see me as someone who was cold-hearted and uncaring! I know it’s fucked up to do such a thing, but it’s how I am with everyone I come in contact with, so I don’t end up getting hurt in the process when the time comes to moving on!  You probably saw me picture perfect, but deep down, that’s not me, nor will it ever be! The only thing picture perfect about me is the photos I take! So I apologize in advance if my charm and characteristics threw you off! It was never my intention to have you get close enough to where you started thinking about me! I was simply just testing the waters out and seeing if the dating scene w...

Can We Go Back to Being Friends? Not sure how I even got to this place, but here I am once again going through the motions and feelings just thinking about how you're doing and what you've been up to since we last talked and went our separate ways. Hopefully, everything for you has been going well and you've figured out what you've wanted to do with your life and met some of those goals you talked about reaching. I'm sorry for not reaching out or making my presence known to you. I just thought keeping my distance would make you forget about me, while I sat back and ended up wishing the best for you. I see you out and about every now and then, but I don't make it my business to approach you or say hi because I think the feelings would just come back to me, and I don't wanna feel those things knowing you don't feel the same way towards me. I know I tend to get caught up in my head and feelings to think clearly, and as much as I tell myself it no longer mat...