Blog Post 414
He's Everything I'll Never Be
I know you keep coming back and forth to me about this and that, only to go back home to him and wonder why it can’t work between us like it does between you and him. The truth is, you’re too much of an attention seeker, so you go out every weekend to find the feeling you had with me, knowing those guys will never match up to me, so you fake it so that it can work, only to hit my line crying about how you feel guilty for the shit you did!
You’re forever changing your mind on the thought of us when you know we can never be due to the lies you told, and making me feel like I was something worth holding on to, but you only held on to me just so you wouldn’t feel lonely! You never really saw me for me; you just saw me as someone you could go for when it came to closure! Which is fine, but don’t scream at me how I was never there for you when I was out at 3 am, driving to your place just to comfort you!
You wanted someone you could show off, and when you had the best, you lost it the second you started changing your ways, knowing the real you was all I ever needed! You kept going back on the feelings you had, only to mix them up for the other guy, but somehow I got caught in all the crossfire when I was across the lot watching and waiting for the right time to come get you! I gave you your space even when you never asked for it! I gave you time to think it all out, but I somehow got painted out to be the bad guy!
You and he clearly know that you’ll be toxic for as long as you stay with one another, but you can’t grasp the thought of that because you want what you can’t have, and that’s the sad part! You go after people who are no good for you, and when someone steps in to show you how much you’re really worth, you cast them to the side, thinking they were just using you! You have it all mixed up, and I wish you would just let him go and be with someone who's willing to fight and take a bullet for you! The only thing he’ll ever take for you is a blue chew and prays it lasts for the night!
You say I’m nothing to worry about to him, but when you close your eyes, you cry your heart out, wishing it was me who was next to you in your bed! You needed to go out and seek validation from another guy just to get an adrenaline rush just so you can sleep soundly at night knowing in the morning you’ll end up feeling like shit then end up making your way to my place knowing I’m not there so you go and text my line asking if I can talk knowing damn well you do it every time and I’ll always have the same response as before which is I’m busy!
You seek out the bad guys only to wish you could wake up to a nice guy who can treat you right and love you in all the ways you deserve, but you shy away from the ones I introduce you to, so you blame me, making me think I’m in the wrong when you asked if I knew of anybody! But I guess you were referring to me, and if I were interested in playing the role of a nice guy, but in reality, that’ll never be me! I’m chill and aware, but being nice will never be my strong point! I love you enough to give you the best, but I’m not the best for you! There’s a big difference!