Mak Lee

180 On the Dash Running From My Fate Took some time to sit back and chill while everyone did the things they normally do, but for some reason I had the sudden urge to lock back in and go for a drive, not knowing where I'd end up being. All I could think about was the gaps between the other cars and the cops closing in on me from the rear. It happened all so fast, where everything just flowed so perfectly, and my calculations became so accurate that speeding past those cars felt as if I was in a video game, not thinking too much of it. Everything around me was moving all so fast, yet I'm still not sure what it all entails for me. Was the thought of me being behind the wheel my way back to finding the meaning behind all my doings, or was it me just trying to meet my maker, thinking everything would be better after it was all said and done? I can't define the meaning behind all of this, but the only one that keeps running in the back of my head is a girl named Camryn, thinking...

Should've Held onto You When I think of you, it feels like 2012 all over again, and I can’t help but think about how good we had it! I wish I could go back to the days when I’d sit in the back of the classroom with you, talking about anything to make the time fly by! There were so many great conversations between you and me that I wish I could continue to have them with you, but as of now, I’m stuck trying to find out why they all stopped. I wish I knew the meaning behind us meeting and then drifting apart as if it were just a science experiment that went wrong! I have thoughts about you and me making things right again, but I fear that too much time has passed, and we’ll barely have a connection like we used to have! I haven’t forgotten about you, when you’re still the only one I dream about when I need to remind myself of why I am the way I am! It’s a never-ending cycle of trying to hold on to the one I loved the most, even though you’re no longer a part of my life! It’s a feelin...

I Never Knew How You Felt Until Today I know you’re going to probably hate me for reaching out to someone close to you and asking how you’ve been and why the things that happened between us had to happen when everything between us was perfectly fine! I thought the feelings were mutual, and everything was right from the jump, but I guess you thought my feelings were fake, and you seemed to be trying to find the real meaning behind the things I was doing and saying, when in reality, there was nothing for me to hide from you! Everything I had said was true and real. There was never a time when I doubled back and tried to rethink of a way to get it right when everything just seemed so right either way between us two! It was like a scene out of a movie every time I’d see you walking by, thinking, god damn, what an angel you are, the way your smile lit up a room full of darkness! It was like nothing else I’ve ever seen or dreamed of before! I wanted you all to myself, knowing there were othe...

Go Ahead and Tell 'Em It's just funny to me how you get attached to others who tend to hurt you the most, but go completely silent from the ones who treat you the best way possible. It's almost as if the pain you chase is deep within the trauma that you hold, and it's quite fascinating, honestly. The way you get people to cling on only to use them for your own needs, then throw them out as if they meant nothing to you. It's like watching a playback of my own doings just to realize you might be the one for me. It's crazy how you came into my life thinking I was the sweetest you've ever met, only for you to realize there was something more to me that I wasn't letting out, and I think that's why we bonded so quickly with one another. You held onto the ones who hurt you, while I cling to those who I know can hurt me in the end. It's a never-ending cycle of being abused and traumatized, only to feel numb to it every time it happens. It's almost as...

Can't Relate to Others Anymore! I wish I knew why people hated me for doing what I did to better myself and the life I chose to have?! I thought I kept things private enough to where I wouldn’t get noticed, but somehow you saw me doing my best and decided to tear me down and act as if I was in the wrong, and for what?! I didn’t understand all the hate being thrown my way when I did it all on my own and never asked for anything from anyone! So how the hell are you hating on me for doing what I had to? To get shit done and putting myself in a better and safer place for myself?!  You all act as if you know me, but you only know what you see and go about your judgmental ways, judging me, thinking you got it all figured out when you don’t even know the real me! The real me never shows itself due to your behavior and actions of tearing others down, and I’m not trying to be torn down just for being myself, that’s why I just mirror your behavior and doings so you can see that it’s not that...

What If We Get It Right... This Time Around? Trying my best to not get my hopes up about you and me when you come down and see me for a quick moment. I'm already sure about what's going to happen, and I hope it doesn't happen in a way where you have to feel like you need to stay or tell your side of the story as to why it all had to go down the way it did. I'm sure we can just hang out and not let our guilty consciences get in the way of what we have right now. I know it's been a minute since we last talked, but the small talk might be best for now, so we don't go and assume it's what we both want, knowing we're living two completely different lives now, and the way I feel towards you has changed, and maybe it was for the best. I didn't change the way I felt about you; I just changed the way I think about you. You didn't do anything wrong, but at the same time, I had to let you go so I could find myself again as one. You were great from the start...

Just a Stranger Until I'm Back in Your Bed Wishing we weren't so tragic from the start that we had to go and find something better, only to get lost in the thought of one another and end up calling each other late at night, asking to come over. We stay up all night laughing all the pain and tears away that we end up wasting hella time kissing down each other's body only to forget that we're just friends. We have one hell of a time, but then once it's over, we go back to hating one another, and honestly, I don't mind it because we both know we're better off as friends with benefits, but only stay for the benefits. We keep pursuing one another in the crowd, only to lose sight of what we have once we touch. It's just you look so damn good in the neon lights that it's hard not to kiss you. The way you get stuck in my head hurts like hell, but the thought of you never leaving my head is kind of worth it. Knowing you had that much of an impact on my life t...