Blog Post 443
180 On the Dash Running From My Fate
Took some time to sit back and chill while everyone did the things they normally do, but for some reason I had the sudden urge to lock back in and go for a drive, not knowing where I'd end up being. All I could think about was the gaps between the other cars and the cops closing in on me from the rear. It happened all so fast, where everything just flowed so perfectly, and my calculations became so accurate that speeding past those cars felt as if I was in a video game, not thinking too much of it. Everything around me was moving all so fast, yet I'm still not sure what it all entails for me.
Was the thought of me being behind the wheel my way back to finding the meaning behind all my doings, or was it me just trying to meet my maker, thinking everything would be better after it was all said and done? I can't define the meaning behind all of this, but the only one that keeps running in the back of my head is a girl named Camryn, thinking it was best to just come clean about it all, even though there's no trace of it ever being told. I wish I could go back to the day we met and erase the memories I made of her and kept it moving. I should've never done the things I did in my past, but it's too late now to rethink all my doings when the dash is damn near 200 trying to figure out my next move on how to lose these cops.
Will it be me and the devil himself dancing around the trees, or will an angel from above come down and stop me from all my doings and let the brightness over shine the darkness that I hold onto? I can't make up my mind, but these streets are getting darker, and traffic is getting heavier, thinking to myself it's time to let go of the gas and give up while I still can but suddenly theres the thought of cops still being behind me so I take the exit lights off and push it past 150 and hope to lose the cops. I know me leaving this earth is a bit too soon, but what other options are there when everyone around me hates me to the point of no return? It's like I've seen this happen before, and I know how it ends all too well, so why bother looking back when the exit to hell is 2 exits ahead.
Might as well just say my farewells and call it a year because this soul has had its toll and is ready to give up for good. Hopefully, the new soul will make things right and find his way back home, but for now, let's just get this soul back to hell where he belongs and forget about it ever existing. This soul was good for the time being, but it's clear to me that this soul was never meant to be a permanent one. So lets just finish this one last ride and pray to god I find the answers to all my questions at the next exit ahead.