Mak

Kind of Wish I Never Met You I’m trying my best to keep my composure, but something bout you makes me want to cry, but then I ask myself why cry when the damage has already been done and I’ve moved on from it!! You keep finding ways to pull me back into the deep end just to watch me drown over and over and I’m sick of all this fake shit! You claim to be the good guy but you went behind my back and fucked your ex and all the other shit thinking  I wouldn’t find out when your ex sent me all the proof I needed to go off on you and remove you from my life! But yet you still find yourself texting me thinking shit is sweet and nice when in reality your text makes me wanna vomit! I do my best to avoid your doings and from reaching out to you, but when I see your number in my phone, it reminds me of so much pain that I feel bad for ever letting you get close to me! I never meant to be the bad guy in your eyes. Still, the moment you let me drown was where I knew you needed to go because it ...

The Last Goodbye I know all the lies you told yourself were just to make yourself feel better about letting go thinking that if you were to lie to yourself about being the bad guy then it wouldn’t be as hard for me but instead it just made me question your doings even more making me feel like it was all my fault! It was never about picking sides or who was right or wrong! It was just you and I as one, but you somehow only cared to make it a one-sided conversation & feeling. I tried holding on to everything I knew, but somewhere down the line, it started slipping out of my hands, and I just couldn’t keep up with all the pain and tears coming down my face! I eventually had to stop and wipe them off, dropping the things that made us happy. I lost sight of what was happening and thought forever was just a word from a movie! I just wish I had a better understanding of why you chose to make me stay, knowing what we had was kind of toxic, but at the same time, worth the fights, even thoug...

I Only Miss You When It Hurts If I’m the worst at everything I do then why do you bother staying and acting as if everything I do is fine and well when you keep going back and forth on shit with me on what’s right and wrong in my life?! You say one thing but then do the opposite, making me feel like you’re just playing a game! It’s fucked up how you go off on me about the shit I do when I’m simply just minding my business but when you mind your own you ask me why I’m not fucking with you?! Like huh?! Girl please go seek a therapist or some type of help because this bipolar ass shit you got going on isn’t going to work around me! It’s making me feel like everything I do is wrong, and it’s hard for me to even breathe around you, and I just can’t take it anymore! You’re all up in my head making me feel some type of way, and I wish I didn’t feel this way! I wish you’d just get out of my head, and I can focus on the things I need to do! But instead I’m stuck hearing bout all my past mistake...

Bitch Nobody Is Mad Not sure why you were going off on me about this and that knowing the shit had nothing to do with me. You needed someone to blame, and for some reason, you chose me, and for that, I dropped you like a fly and never cared to bother with you ever again. But yet here we are back again once again thinking that I give a fuck when in reality I don't even remember who you are or what you were to me. I could've sworn you moved on and forgot all about my existence but apparently not since you're still somehow texting me, knowing damn well I had you blocked.  So I'm not sure how you're contacting me still but please get a grip and move the fuck on. I've got a whole girl I'm messing with and you thinking you can come between me and the shit I have is making me wanna unload a clip in your skull. But for now all I can do is call up karma and have her deal with your bitch ass. So please stay the fuck away from me and my doings because you don't eve...

Started to Move On I guess the time we spent together was nothing more than just a game, and that’s cool with me, but don’t sit here and act like there was more to us when there was only a thought and it had nothing to do with me! You basically put yourself in my life thinking I’d accept only to keep pushing you out, but you forced your way in and just stayed, making me feel uncomfortable and annoyed! I told you to leave several times, but you just kept asking why when I told you my reasons for it all! You weren’t the one, and I needed my time alone. You refused to give me the space I needed to heal from all the damage that you caused, so I kept going off and bashing you for all the shit you put me through and only then you thought I was acting out when in reality that’s how I felt towards you and I needed you to get it through that thick skull of yours!  You made me feel so much hate towards you that loving someone else is never going to be an option because I’m scared of hating s...

I Figured It Out I know we had our differences and somehow you keep reaching out as if I have something left to give to you when I'm all out of feelings and fucks to give towards you. I know how fucked that sounds but it's the truth. I had you for some time only to lose sight of you and kept losing feelings in the process of it all and now all of a sudden you're reaching out and asking for forgiveness after watching me bleed and beg for you to stay?! I was literally hanging on by a thread for a relationship that was already dead and yet you chose to cut it off watching me fall to the depths of hell as I kept asking myself where it all went wrong. I guess the love you were giving was more than I had hoped for. Somehow I managed to get past all the pain and hurt you caused because part of me was scared of losing you at the time. But, now that everything has officially died down. I moved on from you and started focusing on other things and people to the point where I started t...

Back to Square One I never meant to waste your time. I thought things were great til I started realizing certain things and felt like my presence was no longer needed. I cleared every trace of me out of your life and went about my doings. I didn't mean for it to go south so quickly but what can you do? My only intentions with you were basically so I could distract myself from the things that were harming me and I guess once it stopped I saw no need for you which sucks I know but it's just the way things go. Once again, I apologize for wasting your time, but I think this is the last time you'll ever hear from me. You might see me out in traffic doing my thing, but other than that, there are no longer any traces of me. Don't get me wrong, talking with you was fun and all, but it's just not me, no matter how much I tried to be that guy for you it just felt like it was more of a job than an actual connection and I was just tired of forcing myself being something I wasn...

A Guy Like Me Just Needs His Space! I've come to terms with who I am and what I want to do with my life. I considered the whole dating thing with another girl but something about being in a relationship still makes me feel like I'm less than nothing. So I keep backing out and going back to my own doings without the need to keep tabs with someone and have to feel like I'm a waste of time or that the things I'm talking about / explaining mean nothing. I just enjoy the single life way too much, it seems like. I can just wake up, and not worry about a missed call or text knowing I'm not the type to be on my phone anyways. I am too focused on other things, such as work and photography, to think about someone else's needs over mine. I make time for certain friends of mine but even that feels like a job on its own, and honestly, the job I have is stressful enough, I'm not trying to be stressed after work as well.  I've become way too independent on my own and a...

I Don't Need Your Love! I hate to say this and talk about it all, but I’m just done with the thought of you and everything you once meant to me! I get it I was your son at one point but I lost touch with that feeling once you started treating me like an outcast and telling me how I should be when honestly I know who I am and what I want to be and those plans no longer have anything to do with you! So please just fade into the background like you have been for the past few years!  Stop trying to come into my life out of the blue as if I owe you something when I tried being the best I could be for you but you just treated me like I didn’t belong so I found a way to shut you out completely and now that we’re no longer talking you’re blowing up my phone and asking bout my doings and where I’m at knowing you’re never going to hear back from me unless I feel like it! Like I’ve told you time after time I have nothing left to say to you so just leave me be and maybe go adopt another son to...

To Tell You the Truth If I was to sit here and give it to you straight forward then I would say I did it because I had nothing better to do. You were an easy distraction and a gateway to hell and the poison that I needed to feel something. I could have gone to anything but I chose to go to you because the high you gave me was like no other. I wanted more and more to where the only thing I could feel was pain because I couldn't seem to get enough of you. I let myself be so drained and emotionally unstable that seeing you made me feel alive and I know it wasn't right but I was so lost at that time that you just made everything seem so right even though the things you were doing were bad for my health and mental state.  I wanted to find a way out sooner but something about you had me going back and I couldn't stop myself even though the high I was experimenting with was like no other. It's honestly my fault for choosing something as toxic as you but when I met you, you wer...

I No Longer Feel the Same Towards You Hey, don't mind me I just need to go ahead and get this out and move on with my own life and doings. So please don't take offense to the things I'm about to say because honestly, it's best for the both of us like you said. It just took me a while to process it all even though I should've stopped thinking things could work between us back then.  I'm no longer trying to be involved in your life or doings because the lifestyle you wanted to conform me into just isn't me and as much as I tried to please you I was killing my true self in the process and slowly but surely started sight of who I really am. I needed to distance myself from you and the things I knew to get back on track of the things and focus on the things that made sense to me for who I am. I spent the whole night and day trying to process all the pain and guilt I've been feeling lately and I knew that distancing myself from you and everyone else like you b...