Blog Post 517

Midnight Drive

Deep in thought, trying to figure out where to go, only to think of you making me wonder what you're up to, hoping you're safe and well, only to call your line asking how you are. We get to talking, only for me to show up at your house a few hours later, thinking nothing of it. You get in the car, asking if you can drive, only for me to say sure, and you take off, making me wonder if you're ever coming back lol. 2 minutes go by, and you're pulling back into the drive, asking if I'm coming, and I say sure, where to. You reply back with nowhere, but it'll be fun, trust me. So I look down the street with an empty gaze and hop in, knowing we might not make it back alive. I let you drive as I sat back and listened to the gears shift, looking out the window, asking myself if I'll ever be good enough for someone. I look back your way, seeing a smile on your face, making me realize that I already was. I didn't second-guess my judgments when it came to you, considering you're driving 90+ down the interstate, blasting music, trying to escape the tears in your eyes.

I knew that you and I had something real, but nobody could ever understand it, and I didn't really have the time to wonder why they couldn't understand it when it was crystal clear as to how. You're my ride or die, and that's just how it's always been since day one. I just hate how I kept avoiding you from day one because I didn't wanna end up hurting you. But something told me to just jump into the deep end and see where it all goes, and now I'm in the passenger seat of a GT3 going 123, wondering how it ever got to this. I just hope my mind doesn't make the mistake of trying to kill the vibe with you because the feelings started rushing in. I know it's just a common, temporary love, but when it comes to you, I feel like there's something more, but we're both too scared to acknowledge it. So we stay out past midnight, driving past the things we used to know, only to kick back and wonder what we could've done differently. It always seems to go from 0-100 real quick when we collide, only to fall back thinking about all the what-ifs, and I think that's why we continue to see one another.

I don't bother thinking of anything else or someone else when you're with me because it's like everything I've ever thought about seems to fade away once you take the lead and make me see there's a different side of things every time. The loneliness fades away, and the only thing I can do is sit and laugh about it all because there's no way it was ever that damn serious. I just wish I knew how to make everything go back to being a joke, and I could just leave it behind. Instead of thinking about it day in and day out. I guess I should just go back to stop caring and see how things end up afterwards. I can't do this repeated cycle of love again. It's getting to the point of me sitting in the dark hating myself, wondering when it'll ever end. I'm just glad you still kept my number and finally chose to answer my call for that ride we always planned on having.