Blog Post 501

You Could Never Love Me

It's crazy how you acted the part all too well just for me to cut ties with you completely. You thought you'd have me no matter what went on, but the truth is, I was just waiting for the right time to find a way out, and after the phone call had ended, I knew it was time to let go and move on from the thought of ever knowing you. You might have had questions for me as to where you had gone wrong, but as a grown adult, you should have known better, and it's not my job to correct other people's mistakes. I can only react and do what's best for me. You chose to do what you thought was best, but at the same time, it wasn't what was best for me, so I chose to walk away and call it the end. There was no need to go back and forth on the subject or doings because you already told me where you stood in life and what side you were on, and to me it was a clear sign that my time had come and I had to walk away from you and all the things I thought I knew about you.

The fact that you waited all this time to come out and tell me is what hurts the most. You played the part so well that I actually believed you, but you slipped up, and now you're no longer someone I call family. You can try reaching out all you want, but it won't change the fact that you're cut off from me and what I'm up to. There's no need to keep tabs on me when you know it's no longer going to matter, since I now see you in a different light, and honestly, I think you should stop claiming to know me. Because the truth is you don't, and I don't think you ever did. You just wanted me to be someone that you could show off to your friends, and honestly, I'm done being a puppet of yours. You can keep the money and whatever else you have to offer; it's no longer worth my time. You can keep the fake love and abuse that you give out because it's no longer worth my mental health, acting like it's fine and well when it really wasn't. You never understood me or took the time to know what I needed, and it's honestly not my fault because I shouldn't have to ask or beg for someone to love me without having to give something in return.

You can honestly just go ahead and forget about me because I'm totally cool with the fact of never having anything to do or say to you. You can kind of just fade out of my life completely and do what you want. I don't have time for someone who only sees me as a cash grab. You no longer have access to my accounts anymore so don't bother trying to send money, asking for forgiveness, or thinking it'll solve the damages that you caused. You need to fix your thought process when it comes to me because, at this point, I don't think I could ever forgive you or bother reaching out to you ever again. You might claim me as your son, but to me, you're just someone I used to know. There's really nothing left to say or do about the situation you caused. You put the wall up yourself, and now there's no way around it until you remember who you raised and who you're dealing with, because we both know I was never like the other kids growing up, and for you to treat me as one is where you went wrong, and you knew that. So don't sit there and act like you didn't know what the fuck had happened.