Blog Post 484
It Was Always Going to Be You
I’ve told myself countless times that I don’t need anyone and they don’t need me, and I've continued with my life! But something has been making me uneasy, and every time I hear your name or think of you, it hits me like a wave, making me break down, wondering what it all means, knowing the wreckage can never be undone! So I close my eyes, letting the thought of you pass by, only to open my eyes seeing you walk by, asking myself if it’s really you or if it’s just my imagination playing tricks on me! You’re the only one I constantly think about, and yet we still don’t speak to each other because we’re both unsure what the future holds for us! I stand still with a confused look on my face. I was watching you pass, thinking bout how perfect you are, only to travel back down memory lane, seeing it can never be me and you! It hurts like hell, but I keep going down it for the sake of it, hoping it would bring me back to reality!
I try so hard to keep you in my thoughts, but part of me wants to let go and move on from all the things we did and said to another! I thought keeping you around would make me happier, but all it’s done is make me wonder why it had to go down the way it did! There was nothing wrong on your part, so please help me understand what made you simply get up and leave as if everything we had meant nothing! Did the world tell you something that I didn’t hear or get the memo about, or was the timing just wrong, leaving me to wonder what I could have done differently when it came to you! I wish I had the answers to you and your doings! But all I can do is dissociate and continue to travel down the lonely road with your face and name splattered on these streets as if it’s a sign to go back to you or simply figure out if you’re truly meant for me this time around! I wish I knew why the signs keep leading me back your way when I know it’s better to just leave it all behind, keep it locked away!
I wish I could have been the one and you could have been the one for me! But somewhere down this timeline, life said not so fast and steered us separate ways, having us wonder what just happened and if we’d ever see one another, only to find ourselves coming to the terms of it never happening! So I sit back and think back to the first night we met, making you bring out a different side of me I never thought I had, and now I’m not sure if it’s still in me or not! Only you could bring that side of me to the light while everyone just kills the light hoping I’d shine bright, but I just fade out like the light! There was nothing more I needed when it came to you; it felt like but seeing how the universe said fuck us, I can tell the truth was never truly mine to have! I thought I found the missing piece to my puzzle, but I guess the timing just wasn’t there, and it’s honestly a shame because you were such an amazing soul, only to get lost in the void and only become a memory of someone I once knew, which hurts like hell! I thought you were the one, but as I said before, timing just wasn’t there!