Blog Post 452

It's Done

Part 1:

Not sure where it all went wrong between you and I but it's whatever. I'm no longer in the mood to care or worry about your doings. I was taking a step back in trying to figure out if pursuing you was a good idea, but it looks like you already made that decision for me, and it's a clear sign of a no. So my apologies if I start acting like how you are with me right now. There's no need for the phone calls and texts due to the fact that the only person I wanted to talk to was you, but since you're no longer on my mind, I see no use in having a phone anymore. Maybe I'm somewhat heartbroken by the thought of all of this, but it's too late to go back and fix it when the damage is already done. I wish you the best from here on out, but don't come back looking for me when your healing phase is done. I'm no longer someone you need or wanted to talk to, so please remember that when you go out searching for me. My existence in your life is no longer needed, so by all means, leave me to fade into the background like how you've been having me do.

Part 2:

This really has nothing to do with me, but more or less with you, and it's cool if you wanna hate me for what I'm bout to post about you, and honestly, it's probably a valid response, but who the fuck cares at this point. You came into my life forced me into certain shit and honestly I no longer care about it I just wish I could hate you but I chose to forget all about it and tried to act as if it never happened but everytime you'd come around or talk to me it made me sick to my stomach and most of the time me arguing and starting fights with you was because of the shit you did to me. I just didn't have to balls to tell you at the time because I knew you never saw the bad in what you did and thought the shit you had presented me to was normal when it was never something I was suppsoed to see or get behind in doing so for that it really is on sight every time I see you and I'll never get enough punches out to satisfy myself for the shit you did that's why I keep my distance from you to this day. After all, I know the rage and anger that I hold is because of you, and I just want you to suffer the same way I did, but just in a worse way.

Part 3:

I really wish I knew the purpose of you and your friend ganging up on me and trying to box me into a corner where I'd crashout about the things I don't talk about or care to share. There was really no need for you two to go out of your way and start treating me like I was in the wrong and the things I do were wrong. Yeah, I know I prevent myself from getting attached to others because I have a way of hurting those that get too close to me, so that's why I keep everyone at arm's reach so it's easier to detach when the time comes. It's not because I didn't wanna be close or can't open up to others, it's because I simply choose not to hurt the ones that mean the most to me, and by me being distant from them, it's the safest way for them to not be a victim of my actions. Clearly y'all didn't get that memo somehow when I deliberately told you from day one that getting close to me is going to get you hurt and now look at you crying on the floor all because I decided to leave and you wanted to come at me as if you knew me when you know nothing about me and the way I think about the ones I love and the things I do to protect them. Fuck out of my face, thinking everything is nice and sweet with me. I'm only nice when I'm comfortable with the person, and the sweet side of me is only shown when the feelings come to light. So don't ever think you're just gonna get that other side of me every chance we link, because I have never been that way.