Blog Post 447

You're Better Off Far Away

You might hate me for telling you this, but if there was another way to go about it, I would have taken that route. But right now it's just better if I forget all about you and go about my business. I hate to see you go, but my heart and mind aren't enough to save me from the tears I let out towards you, so please understand that this is how it has to be. There were times when I lost my identity and ended up breaking every piece of my heart to find the truth you lie in, but there was nothing there to find. I gave it my all to be there for you even when the miles were hundreds apart. It just sucks how everything came crashing down on me, thinking that you cared for me, but turns out I never knew you for you, and that's my fault. I suppose I should have taken a step back and analyzed my actions and feelings to understand that we no longer shared the same feelings as we did when we first met. I acted as if we did, and it's my mistake for not recognizing the shift in our relationship sooner.

I gave up my will to know you, hoping the lies would come to light, but nothing came of it. Instead, there were only tears knowing that there's no going back or making things how they were when the final line was drawn, and I should have known that you were never really there for me. You only used me for the knowledge that I had, and for that I guess I can be thankful for, but at the same time why didn't you just come to me and tell me what it was you really wanted from me instead of making me believe in something that was never really there. I thought we were good, but I can see that it was all just a masquerade, and honestly, it's whatever. I'm just glad it's over with, and you're no longer in my line of sight. I'm glad I can go back to not knowing you, and hopefully, all this pain will fade away like your existence. I'm not mad about the things you did; I'm just disappointed. It just sucks I gave you the best side of me, and you ended up turning it into something else. It's cool, I guess, coming from a lowlife such as yourself, it's not like I could have expected anything else or better, as a matter of fact.

I just hope better days come my way now that you're officially miles away without a trace to find. Just sucks it had to end this way, knowing that the chemistry was there, just the respect and loyalty was lost along the way, and I can't blame a girl like you who's used to being used and abused. I just thought I could have shown you something better does exist out there for you, but I guess the truth didn't seem to be something worth looking into from your end. So I gotta forget about this ever happening and hope that things go back to normal, knowing that you're out there living a double life, not knowing where your bed lies. It's so sad thinking that someone like you is so mentally ill that you have to go around blaming others for the position you put yourself in, knowing there were people in your life at one point, and occasionally still trying to help you to get back on your feet and have you see a better life in the process of it all.