Blog Post 430

To Love ‘Em & Leave ‘Em

Not trying to sound like I know you and everything you're about, but it kind of seems like you're only in it for the pleasure and nothing more. You keep talking to me as if I'm nothing more than just a distraction from something bigger, and with that being said, it hurts knowing my part will always be short-lived. You keep talking to me as if we've known each other for years when in reality it's only been a few weeks and with that being said I know you're just playing mind games and toying with my feelings until you feel better about yourself and then when you finally do you'll end up dropping me and going back to finding someone new or someone from before to help satisfy your needs. I've seen it all before, so I'm not that clueless as to what you're doing. I had you figured out within the first few hours of hanging out with you, and figuring all that out, I knew you and I would never see eye to eye on anything. 

I kept putting distance between you and me because why would I let myself get close to someone who's just going to forget about me within a few seconds after seeing me? It makes no sense for me to put in the effort of acting like I give a fuck about you when the game you tried playing was already over by the time I had a conversation with you. I let you talk your talk and noticed the shift in tone and the movement of your eyes and how they dilated every time you said some shit that made it clear that you were only looking for a one-night stand, and unfortunately, that's not my thing. So by all means, leave me alone and off your list of people to manipulate and play. Cause I promise you the game you think you're playing is no match for the mind I have. I already had you figured out the second you stepped foot in my car. I just didn't wanna react to it, but I knew you were just gonna be an attention seeker and nothing more. You didn't have any core values, let alone add anything to my life other than disappointment and waste of time. You seem chill, but the way you act and talk it's not for me.

You might have thought I could be another victim of yours, but the truth is, I'm already damaged enough, and I can see right through the bullshit people tend to disguise as a personality trait of theirs, and honestly, I'm good. I don't need to be caught up in the mix of toxic and draining people. I'd rather just be on my own in my own safe space and not deal with people. If I could go ghost, I would, but unfortunately, I've already got too many people knowing about me, but soon enough, that'll all die down. I'm not trying to be seen or heard of/about. I'm done trying to be out there and in the known; it violates my privacy and sometimes the trust I have within myself when it comes to other people. You might think those people you keep close to you are your friends and always have your best interests for you, but they're the enemy in disguise, and for that, I'll always keep my distance from them. There's no point in trying to explain my doings or reasoning for anything that I do anymore, because at the end of the day, it only matters to me and not to those who think they know me.