Blog Post 309

I Wish You Knew The Real Me

I guess time has its limits but I have mine as well and I wish I could’ve been better for you but you’re no longer here so I gotta go out of my way and type this up because I’m missing you like crazy even though I didn’t even know you very long. But the way I fell in love with your entire existence is beyond my comprehension! I wish I could have made you happy but I guess life had other plans! I knew you were special the moment I laid my eyes on you and I knew that letting you go was gonna be hell in disguise and I can’t bear to live a life knowing I let another good one go!

So I guess I gotta work on leaving you alone and letting you smile on your own knowing that I’m better off alone now that you’re no longer talking to me! I’ll wish you the best of luck but looks like you already have it! Everything about you and your vibe is high and mighty and I have nothing to worry about when it comes to you! I guess all I can wish for you is your well-being and safety! It’s just sad you’re no longer a priority of mine anymore when I would’ve moved mountains and walked through the flames of hell just to see your smile and let you shine in a room full of darkness!

I wish I could be next to you again but that side of me is gone so there’s no point of me being next to you! It would just make things worse for you! I’ll end up hurting you and then we’ll both be crying because it was never my intention to make you cry! It just sucks that all this had to end this way! Like why didn’t we just vibe and let the storm pass? I wish I knew the reasons behind all of this! You were so gentle and kind and now it feels like you were just something that I imagined which fucking sucks because I have memories of you & me! Like how am I supposed to let it all go when it was your smile that had me hooked!

Life never seems to want me to be happy and at this point, I might have to just accept it! But I know for a fact that every time I was with you I was being myself 100% of the time and I wish I wasn’t but I couldn’t help but smile and be a lame half the time! It’s so ironic that I even felt that way around you when most of the time I never know how to feel without thinking the person is judging me! I don’t know there was just something really special about you and I wish I could have figured it out! But I guess in another life I’ll find you once again and make the time to find out what it was! Because there’s no way you came into my life and made me this happy just to leave as if it was a life lesson or something!!