Mak Lee

Was it all a Test Being with somebody else just doesn't seem right to me when I still have you on my mind. I thought by me moving on and doing things with somebody else it would help erase you off my mind but it's just making it harder for me. I keep having flashbacks of us and I don't know why. I guess it's because me being with somebody else was just my way of trying to erase you from my life when it's just making me want you back even more. I don't know if I'm just stupid or really fucked up. I don't hate the thought of you I just hate the thought of me knowing I can never go back to you and it hurts. But I just have to learn to move on and not look back even though it's the hardest thing for me to do right now. But it shouldn't be considering this was what I thought was best for me so why does it feel like part of me is dying when all I'm trying to do it just move on from everything we once had. Maybe me being with you was just a...

Was It Worth It Talking with you was easy. Being next to you was even easier. But why was loving you so complicated? Was the timing off, or was it just too soon to start saying I love you? I can't tell, considering you told me to tell you how I felt, and I did just that, only to get torn apart. So was it really worth me telling you how I felt, or was it just so you could tear me apart? I'm still confused about the whole situation and can't tell if it was your way of finding out how I really felt about you, just so you could end things, and I wouldn't have had to catch more feelings for you, or did you really have intentions of hurting me so I'd walk away? I really don't know what it was, but I can't get over the thought of me sitting on your bed and having to listen to everything you were saying to me. It hurt like hell knowing things were ending, but I wish I had stuck around to make things better but I just walked away because I felt like I was losing you...

Thank You For The Pain I just want to thank you for the pain you made me feel. If it wasn't for you and the things you made me feel then it wouldn't have been real to me. I wouldn't be here blogging about everything that I was feeling/going through after you ended up pushing me away and having me walk away from it all. It kills me knowing that the pain I felt was real and I wish it wasn't but it was and it still is but it's okay because I learned to deal with it and learned how to move on from what went down knowing it was over between us two for good. I hated the thought of us being over and not ever seeing one another but now that I'm thinking about it I think it was best for the both of us. Even though you thought otherwise which you did considering you said we could still be friends and I just wasn't having that and I'm glad I chose not to be friends with you anymore. I just feel like If I didn't end things the night that I did I wouldn...