Mak

A Guy Like Me Just Needs His Space! I've come to terms with who I am and what I want to do with my life. I considered the whole dating thing with another girl but something about being in a relationship still makes me feel like I'm less than nothing. So I keep backing out and going back to my own doings without the need to keep tabs with someone and have to feel like I'm a waste of time or that the things I'm talking about / explaining mean nothing. I just enjoy the single life way too much, it seems like. I can just wake up, and not worry about a missed call or text knowing I'm not the type to be on my phone anyways. I am too focused on other things, such as work and photography, to think about someone else's needs over mine. I make time for certain friends of mine but even that feels like a job on its own, and honestly, the job I have is stressful enough, I'm not trying to be stressed after work as well.  I've become way too independent on my own and a...

I Don't Need Your Love! I hate to say this and talk about it all, but I’m just done with the thought of you and everything you once meant to me! I get it I was your son at one point but I lost touch with that feeling once you started treating me like an outcast and telling me how I should be when honestly I know who I am and what I want to be and those plans no longer have anything to do with you! So please just fade into the background like you have been for the past few years!  Stop trying to come into my life out of the blue as if I owe you something when I tried being the best I could be for you but you just treated me like I didn’t belong so I found a way to shut you out completely and now that we’re no longer talking you’re blowing up my phone and asking bout my doings and where I’m at knowing you’re never going to hear back from me unless I feel like it! Like I’ve told you time after time I have nothing left to say to you so just leave me be and maybe go adopt another son to...

To Tell You the Truth If I was to sit here and give it to you straight forward then I would say I did it because I had nothing better to do. You were an easy distraction and a gateway to hell and the poison that I needed to feel something. I could have gone to anything but I chose to go to you because the high you gave me was like no other. I wanted more and more to where the only thing I could feel was pain because I couldn't seem to get enough of you. I let myself be so drained and emotionally unstable that seeing you made me feel alive and I know it wasn't right but I was so lost at that time that you just made everything seem so right even though the things you were doing were bad for my health and mental state.  I wanted to find a way out sooner but something about you had me going back and I couldn't stop myself even though the high I was experimenting with was like no other. It's honestly my fault for choosing something as toxic as you but when I met you, you wer...

I No Longer Feel the Same Towards You Hey, don't mind me I just need to go ahead and get this out and move on with my own life and doings. So please don't take offense to the things I'm about to say because honestly, it's best for the both of us like you said. It just took me a while to process it all even though I should've stopped thinking things could work between us back then.  I'm no longer trying to be involved in your life or doings because the lifestyle you wanted to conform me into just isn't me and as much as I tried to please you I was killing my true self in the process and slowly but surely started sight of who I really am. I needed to distance myself from you and the things I knew to get back on track of the things and focus on the things that made sense to me for who I am. I spent the whole night and day trying to process all the pain and guilt I've been feeling lately and I knew that distancing myself from you and everyone else like you b...

Please Stop Reaching Out to Me Look I understand I let you back into my life for a brief moment to see how things were going and if you’re back on your feet but please don’t start telling me how much you miss me and all this other shit because honestly I’m so far gone from having any sort of feelings towards you! I kind of just see you as someone to talk to when I’ve got nothing better to do! It’s nothing personal I just only care to talk to you because I’m either just getting off work or need something to do while I’m out in public around other people to calm my anxiety! It’s nothing crazy! You’re just there because you make yourself way too available for me now which is crazy. After all, before us breaking up and being together there was none of that. You were a one-sided relationship and I don’t even know why I ever bothered to stay!  I guess my heart was lost in the translation of lust and feeling something real and what we had was never real! You were just a distraction from m...

I Don't Want You in My Life There’s no easy way to say this other than what the title has been named! You’re on my case about this and that and it’s making me feel hella insecure about everything I do and I just can’t take it anymore! So I apologize if I’ve been distant and keeping my mouth shut on all of this and whatnot! But I just can’t do this fake shit acting as if you being around me is working for me when it’s not! You’re starting to become a parasite to me and I need you to be dead or simply put … not around me anymore! It’s not like I hate you or anything I’ve just outgrown you and your doings! I’m too embarrassed to tell it to your face but eventually, you’ll understand my reasons for it being how it is from here on out! I just don’t see myself as a good fit for you and your life anymore so I’m just removing myself from it regardless if you like it or not! I just don’t see us having what we once did anymore!  But I know how you’re going to be and what you’re planning on d...

I Feel Like Backing Down This might sound stupid but me fighting with you is never going to happen so if it's the fights and arguing that you want then please go be with someone else. I'm literally just trying my best to care for you and love you as you deserve but if you're wanting to go back and forth on this and that and accuse me of this and the third then honestly I have no point in doing this. It's easier for me to just walk away from it all and go find something better only to have thoughts about you and how we could have made it work if only I had just stayed. But if I had stayed then the fighting would have just continued and I'm so sick of the fighting. It's gotten to the point where I'm just not going back and forth with others and just simply agreeing with them even though they're in the wrong but I'm physically and mentally drained from trying to correct other people that I just don't care anymore. You could go out and blast my name ...

Wishing We Could Pick Up Where We Left Off I'm not trying to make this long or whatever. But something made me think back to the day I had you, and the next thing I know you're packing up your things and walking out the door never to be heard or seen from ever again. I know it was because of me and as much as I tried to get you to tell me if it was because of me you kept denying it and it hurt like hell that you chose to lie to me instead of just admitting it and I don't think I could ever forgive you for doing that.  I wish you could have told me you found someone else to take the place of me and all the mistakes I made were done and over with before I tried reaching out to on you your socials only to find out you moved on with some other guy and I just had to sit back and accept it for what it was. So I logged out and waited a few days to process the facts only to reach out through text and go right into the whole thing of you moving on and not telling me. But coming back...

I Still Cry When It Comes to You Not sure how to go about this one but when it comes to you just know I still remember everything that happened between the two of us starting from the day I walked into your classroom looking for you hoping you would give me a chance to be yours back in 2013 of May two weeks before your birthday to being someone you knew nothing about!!! I understand my mistakes at the time made you hate me so much but yet we kept on pushing and pushing only to burn it all down to ash because the thought of us being together never made sense once summer ended! I was off traveling and you were focused on your studies and seasonal sports! I ended up turning off the lights and going ghost to protect myself from the feelings that were haunting me! I kept so many memories of us hidden in my room that one day I just became numb looking back on them so I threw them all away like how I did with the love I gave to you! I was so unsure of myself and the thoughts I was having that...

Should I Continue or Just Give Up on the Thought of You?! I know I have zero reasons to put the blame on myself but shit just got all weird overnight and I’m trying to figure out what caused it all because we no longer talk or reach out to one another anymore! I know things are crazy with my schedule and everything else going on with me behind the scenes but I just don’t understand how we went from texting and seeing each other every day to ghosting one another out of the blue!! I keep asking myself if I was too needy with you or if I was being too nonchalant with you to give you an impression of me not wanting to bother with you and if that’s the case I’m sorry! I wasn’t trying to make myself seem like you were a bother to me! I just get focused on certain things and don’t care to think or make time for anything else until the thing I’m fixated on is done! It’s a bad habit of mine I know!!  It’s just crazy knowing how you feel about me and the way you think about me without you kn...

Seeing You For the First Time... Made Me Feel Some Type of Way I feel like it’s none of my business when it comes to you but at the same time there’s this feeling I’ve been having lately and it’s towards you and I don’t know how to describe it without coming off as being obsessed with you! If that makes sense! It’s just my feelings end up lying to me most of the time so the things I feel for others isn’t how I truly feel it’s just what my mind feels is right at the time but down the line, it all just becomes a mistake and I have to let it go! So I’m not sure why I’m even bothering with the thought of acknowledging these feelings for you when I know nothing is going to happen between the two of us! You’ve got your thing and I’ve got my thing! Our lives don’t even cross paths and if they ever did then it was just a sign that I made a mistake in not trusting my feelings and saying hey to you when I saw you!  I keep quiet and in the background of your work because I’m not trying to bot...